Day 21: Sit at My Table

Happy Sunday Friends! 


One time I (beth) worked really closely with an African American social work support specialist.   He and I often talked about interracial relationships and friendships.   He related with great sadness how he had come to work very closely with another person in our district.  She and her husband had been to parties at his home but he had never been invited to their home.  That made him feel like they were really not as close of friends as he had thought.   I don’t know why he was never invited to their home for dinner or a party.  But I’ve never forgotten the story and his eyes as he told it.  


We’ve all heard the old adage “I’m not racist, one of my best friends is black.” This got us wondering about true friendship and what that looks like across differences.  For sure it doesn’t mean parading black friend(s) around as a way to prove our “woke-ness”, and it also doesn’t mean that having black friends and buying into and sustaining a racist system are mutually exclusive… but we digress.  True friendship comes from the knowing of another, the real knowing, the deep understanding of who someone is, it means really seeing someone and loving them deeply.  Part of seeing someone is interest and knowledge of their cultural background. This is also a way to help foster new friendships and radically welcoming strangers, by being culturally aware and interested, we can communicate our desire to be in community with others subtly and authentically. 


Day 21: 

So today we are taking a dip into cultural understanding through cuisine.  One of you shared Padma Lakshmi’s show Taste the Nation as a great resource for the history of American foods.  Here is her episode on The Gullah Way. We are watching this episode, researching and cooking (or maybe ordering from a black owned restaurant) today. 


“As they say in West Africa: if you sit at my table and eat with me, you’ll know who I am” - Micheal Twitty (on Taste the Nation).  We know we will have to be creative with how we invite people to “sit at the table” with us in this time of COVID, but we understand the importance of truly knowing our friends across differences.  Please share your creative ideas on sharing a meal and building relationships at this time :-). 


Please note: it may not be appropriate to invite a black acquaintance to join you for a meal and make a new found recipe, but it might be really meaningful depending on the person and the depth of your relationship.  We are thinking carefully and critically right now about the best way to honor and support our black and brown sisters and brothers in this moment.  We are making sure to think of each friend as an individual and make the best choices for that person and our personal relationship with them.  


Also, know any amazing black fathers?  We’re sending all our amazing black father friends a “Happy Father’s Day” text (and maybe a little $$ via venmo or supporting their business or art). 


If you enjoyed either of my (Camerin’s) Soror Ashley Sherman’s videos on Juneteenth and Cooking you can venmo her @ashley-Sherman-15. Her food blog is here: https://www.theresfoodatthehouse.com/ 


And finally, here’s a little inspiration to keep you pumped up throughout the weekend: https://www.instagram.com/p/CBoBIUHBlD2/ (Ohavia Philips from the Juneteenth March in Charlotte NC)



Peace,
Beth and Camerin


No follow up today- we’re getting some rest but will be back tomorrow with all of yesterday and today’s responses.  

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