Day 11: Reflect, Rehearse, Respond

Dear Friends and Family, 

Today we are thinking about and problem solving how to speak with our close African American friends and others about these difficult issues.   We have fielded questions in our own lives and heard from some of you with similar experiences as well: African American friends asking:  "I just need to ask you, Explain to me why do white people understand the death of George Floyd but refuse to understand the systemic nature of racism.   What are you taught as a child that would keep you from seeing this when it's as obvious as rain.  It is hitting us in the face, what keeps white people from seeing it?"  These questions sounded like accusations or a belief that all white people think or believe the same thing.   But after a moment of pause we reminded ourselves that this must be an entirely painful and frustrating moment for African Americans in a different way for white people no matter how well meaning we are.  It also reminded us of the times when our African American friends are asked to speak for their whole community (What do black people think about this…? Or the like).  It is frustrating and overwhelming to be asked to represent a whole community of people especially on such a complex topic.  

 

We have also been managing the diverse opinions of our African American friends and colleagues.  In particular on the issues of whether to reach out or not, and whether to speak up or silently listen.  We don't think there's one right way or wrong way.  Some people really appreciate being reached out to while others agree with the author of this op ed.  The author of the article is an individual and speaks from his individual experience and not for all African American people.  We are reminding ourselves that we  know our friends and to think about them as individuals, who they are and what I, as their friend, think this individual needs at this moment.  And knowing that if someone knows who we really are, even if they're a little annoyed by our action or inaction- they'll get over it- because they know us.  We just have to live in the discomfort of their being no right way to do this work and take thoughtful and intentional risks and hope they land, and if they don't we keep listening and working and trying.  And it is hard.  No one ever said this was going to be easy, but we got this.  And most of all our black and brown compatriots just want to know that we are listening and doing something.  Taking action and responding, they are not looking for perfection.   

 

We’re asking ourselves: 

What kind of care does this person need from me as her friend?

How can I respond to questions that lump all white folks into one pot?

How can I respond in a way that is useful in building bridges and supporting your friend's pain?

 

Even preparing some thoughtful, intentional answers in case these or other questions come up, so we can be thoughtful and intentional in our responses. 

Reflect, Rehearse, Respond. 

Peace,
Beth and Camerin

 

 

Word of the Day: 

Important Terms for For Talking About Race and Identity by Blair Imani @blairimani 

Black: People of African Descent or from the African Diaspora

BIPoC: Black, Indiginous, Person of Color.  An excellent alternative to non-white which centers whiteness and erases other IDs. 

NBPoC: Non-Black People of Color. Specifies the group discussed. 

PoC: Do not use if you know the specific group. An excellent alternative to “minority”. 

Minority: is an outdated term that ties an individual's racial identity to the percentage that their identity group makes up in a larger society. 

There are many opinions on whether to use “Black” or “African American” to describe “People of African Descent or from the African Diaspora”. We have asked loved ones and go back and forth based on the responses of the PoC’s in our own lives.  If interested in this we invite you to do some research- it is a fascinating topic with many diverse viewpoints. 


Another great reading list of books one of you bought for a local school: 

A Girl Named Misty - Kelly Starling Lyons

100 African Americans Who Shaped American History - Chrisanne Becker

Black Women in Science - Kimberly Brown Pellum, PhD

Little Legends - Exceptional Men in Black History - vashti Harrison

Riley Can Be Anything - Davina Hamilton

Interesting Facts About The Ancient African Art - Baby Professor Series

The People Could Fly - told by Virginia Hamilton

The Boy Who Became King - Anthony Curcio

Debbie Allen - Dancing in the Wings - Kadit Nelson


Upcoming Virtual Events: 

6/20 The Mass Poor People’s Assembly and Moral March on Washington (Virtual).  Info here. RSVP here. 

Upcoming Live Events: 

Mon 6/15, 9:00 am EST  “March on Georgia.”  Richard B. Russell Federal Building (75 Ted Turner Drive, S.W.) to Georgia State Capitol, Atlanta.  Sponsored by Georgia NAACP. RSVP: https://www.naacpga.org/events/march-on-georgia


Reading/ Watch/Listen List: 


Resources: 

  • Reps. Ayanna Pressley and Ilhan Omar in partnership with Reps. Karen Bass and Barbara Lee, have introduced a resolution in Congress condemning police brutality, racial profiling, and the use of excessive force. More info.

  • 75 Things White People Can Do 

 

Day 10 Actions and Reflections from the group: 

  • Today I emailed the chair and vice chair of the Georgia Senate’s Judiciary Committee to encourage passage of HB 426 (state hate crimes legislation).  I called my state senator as well.

  • Today I read about 50 more pages of White Fragility (almost finished!) and had an hour-long phone conversation with a white friend discussing what I've read so far about the defense mechanisms that white people have against recognizing our part in systemic racism.

  • The GA legislative session resumes post quarantine on Monday, so I've put a note on my calendar to call my state reps then to express my support for their plans to repeal stand your ground.

  • I watched 13th and the follow up discussion with filmmaker Ava DuVernay and Opera. I hope you can do another Zoom discussion about this documentary. There is a lot to talk about and process. It really redefined what "Criminal" means to me.

  • I bought a BLM sign for my yard, which feels a little lame except in parts of the city, people with BLM signs in their yards have been threatened. So it feels important to make these even more visible right now. Also, the money from the purchase goes to the Black Visions Collective (www.blackvisionsmn.org), a local nonprofit that believes in a future where all Black people have autonomy, safety is community-led, and we are in right relationship within our ecosystems.

  • I read, "Minneapolis Had This Coming" in the Atlantic. Everything in this article captures the reality on the ground here.

  • We watched 13th on Monday night. It was hard to watch, but important. I had always made the choice to read about the incidents of police violence/murder of black Americans and not watch the videos myself. Watching them one after the other at the end of the documentary had me crying so quickly. One of the points in the movie that stuck with me was this -
    If black Americans have been targeted by the police and criminalized throughout the entire existence of the United States of America, why would they inherently trust the police now? As a person who tends to fall on the side of trusting and giving the folks the benefit of the doubt, I think there is/was a part of me that wants to give our institutions the benefit of the doubt. But, given the history, there really is very little reason for our communities of color to give the benefit of the doubt to our police system. Our police system has not given them a reason to do so. It wasn't rocket science, but this thought made an impact on me.

  • I’m so frustrated to be related to so many trump supporters. I realized that the trump presidency is a large scale gaslighting of America and it is so infuriating. Then I realized that might be like what it feels like to be black in America...eternal gaslighting among other things.

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